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  • Writer's picturejon walker


It seems our culture and upbringing and genetics conspire to give many of us a message that is so deeply internalized that we often can’t see how it controls our life. And that message is that whoever we are, we aren’t good enough. So we often add to our difficulties by desperately trying to change into whatever illusory thing our culture says would be good enough. This isn’t about not trying to improve. Rather, it is about choosing to make changes from a place of self-care rather than self-hatred. The psychologist Carl Rogers said it beautifully:

“The curious paradox is that the more I accept myself just as I am, the more I can change.”

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